Corbett Canyon Merlot

Recently I started a new job. Not that I didn't love my old job. In my prior life I managed a large bookstore, which is super-terrific, except that the retail book business, in the bricks-and-mortar sense, isn't going too well. Add on to that my company's exposure in CDs, DVDs, and some rather poorly conceived Gifts and Stationery investments and, well... it just isn't working right now. Even if the company survives, it's become such a desperate environment that, for my own mental well-being, I had to get out. Or go mad.

Fortunately, a coffee company based in Seattle just happened to have a need for me. I'm hesitant to identify the company here, except to say that it's name almost-but-not-quite rhymes with "horcrux," which, given it's Voldemortian reach, is perhaps a little alarming. It's a nice change of pace and a good company that treats me well. So hopefully that possible connection to Voldemort is strictly my imagination.

The most surreal part of my new career is the frequent coffee tastings. It frankly just never occurred to me that coffee needed "tastings." Coffee, to me, is a functional drink. Something you slug down to wake up in the morning. But now I'm identifying hints of cocoa and overtones of cinnamon and nutmeg and I have to try to speak lucidly about it in front of my new bosses and customers. It is fun and an interesting experience, but coffee still tastes, largely, the same to me. I have, however, learned that Christmas Blend tastes damn good with Gingerbread. And I've learned to totally hate Robusto beans.

I've also learned what a moron I am about wine, or rather was in the early days of this blog. My palate, perhaps, has developed past its infancy, but it's still just a toddler. I'll take a sip of coffee and stare into space for ten minutes blankly trying to identify a flavor from deep in my memory banks, and that's not much different from how I am with wine. The only real difference is that I've had a bit more experience with wine, so I know that if it's tastes like cough drops, it's probably Australian, and that many red wines go well with meat. So that prior experience gives me a reservoir from which to draw my comparisons. Whereas with coffee, a lot of it still tends to taste like dirt (which, I've learned, you can pass off by saying it tastes "earthy").

Anyway, the last couple of months have been pretty stressful. In addition to that whole getting-the-wife-knocked-up thing, I left my long-time employer and have embarked upon my new career. It's a lot of fun. And it makes me grateful for Corbett Canyon Merlot.

Corbett Canyon Merlot, as the label states, is "medium-bodied with deep blackberry aromas and a soft, satisfying finish." It's also $10.99 for a keg at Harris Teeter... er... or rather a box, which makes it great for a momentarily unemployed oenophile waiting for his new paychecks to start up (and trying to make COBRA payments). I don't know if I would describe the blackberry aromas as "deep" so much as "nuclear," and the finish isn't "soft" so much as "non-existent." But that's exactly what I want from a functional wine (and let's face it, any wine that comes in a box and barely costs $10 is functional, not for showing off). It leaves you satisfied and it tastes good, pairing well with, I dunno, meat? Something like that.

So there you go. 7 out of 10. Drink it by the box. In the morning, try the Caffe Verona to chase away the hangover, with a chocolate donut.

Harris Teeter, $10.99

WARNING: Excessive consumption of alcohol may cause...pregnancy...

Oops, that's not really how the label reads, right? Perhaps the Surgeon General needs to reconsider a revision of that particular warning. Just a thought.

Hi. Yes, as my husband fondly describes my current state, I am 'with child'. Gulp. However, I will not be contributing posts on needlepoint. I'm knocked up, not elderly. I hope this adequately explains my recent absence from the blog; it wasn't due to anything but the shock of my pregnancy, believe me. Like Mike, I've been dumbfounded by the continued interest in our site (amazing, thank you!) despite the lack of new posts. Therefore I vow to come up with topics as best I can that relate to the blog. I can't promise a steady stream of posting, but I'm committed to keeping this blog alive, if only for the sake of continued promotion of that darned Macaroni Grill House Chianti. Could we get any more comments on that review? Apparently their PR people need to cut us a check.

Since tonight's post can't be a wine review, I thought I would write about the holidays. Recently a friend of mine asked for suggestions on cheap wines to be given as gifts. She was searching for the perfect inexpensive wine that wouldn't taste cheap to give to the neighbors she wouldn't want thinking of her as cheap. You know, that wine. Can you tell she just moved into the neighborhood? Her outdoor Christmas/holiday decor or lack thereof is more likely to influence her neighbor's opinion, don't you think? They'll drink any bottle of booze handed to them, 'tis the season! Ned the Neighbor won't think twice about the type of wine handed to him but he'll definitely have an opinion on the inflatable snow globe you've put up in the yard that impedes his view of the street. So I say don't go too crazy racking your brain for the perfect wine to give as gifts. Use the blog for suggestions but try to remember that everyone's taste in wine differs. What tastes delicious to you may be terrible to others and forever mark you as that neighbor. As long as you keep the gaudy holiday decor to a minimum, they'll forget about the crap tasting wine you handed out by the time next year's holidays roll around.

Happy holidays, Wine for the Cheap readers! Have a drink for me. Please.

Tisdale Merlot

Okay. So this is getting crazy. We have not posted on this blog in over two, count 'em, two months, and yet it continues to keep growing. This is creating quite a bit of consternation on my part since, well, I feel the weight of expectations and feel like I must do something. But I crap you not we are getting over 100 page impressions every single day without doing anything. Which makes me wonder what might happen were we keeping up with it.

It's not, however, that we don't love you all. We do. It's just that I have been working and Joy has been unable to partake of wine since she's ... uh ... with child. So a great debate has been brewing in the house about whether to carry on or put everything on hold for nine months. Well, six months now, since we dawdled and fretted about it for the last three. There has been some talk of my brother Tom carrying on in Joy's absence since he has been our number one (and only) guest reviewer. But Joy is here to drink with. Tom is not. He sends in all his posts from his own home. And he is not, no way, moving in, EVER.

But the clicks. So many damned clicks. Every day we get more page impressions and more clicks. And comments. And followers. So I'll log into my e-mail and there will be a new comment, and then I'll look and see that we've had more page impressions, and so finally enough is enough! I am here! I am back! I will post! And Joy will too, although not as frequently, and about needlepoint or something. So back off! Here we go!

Tisdale! Merlot! $3.99 at Giant!

Yum!

There are a couple things I've discovered since we started this blog. The first is that I really prefer red wine to white. That was established in many earlier posts. And the second is that, with a choice of reds in front of me, I will almost always choose the Merlot, no matter what those assholes in the movie Sideways may say. I love a good Chianti or Pinot Noir, and I'll drink a good Cabernet Sauvignon, but Merlot has a certain special something about it that appeals to me: Commonness. It's just too uncool for me to pass up.

A lot of grocery chains now, perhaps just continuing with something they've always done that I never noticed until I started a wine blog, like to offer specials on really cheap, generic wine. Trader Joe's, for example, has its Charles Shaw. Bloom has been carrying that crap named for the guy on Lost, Matthew Fox. Wal-Mart has Oak Cluster or Oak Nut or whatever the Hell it's called. Now Giant brings us Tisdale.

And.

I.

Love.

It.

Tisdale Merlot is my favorite $3.99 wine. My favorite $3.99 wine EVER. Better than Lost Vineyards. Better than Charles Shaw. Not better than Amaicha Torrontes, but that was $2.99 and a white so I'm not counting it. But just the best.

It's smooth. Indistinct. Fruity. Slightly tangy but not too much, like biting into a ripe strawberry. It is the sort of wine you drink with friends into the wee hours of the morning and don't notice because there's nothing to notice but, seriously, when you're talking about $3.99 wine, do you want to savor it or do you want it to go down easy? It's easy. Dare I say, easy-peasy?

8 out of 10.

Giant, $3.99

Blue Fish Pinot Grigio 2005 (GUEST REVIEW)

Another fun review from my brother-in-law. With school back in session, I wouldn't be surprised if we received more guest reviews from him. Something tells me that teaching junior high school kids for a living encourages Tom to head straight for the Wine & Beer aisle.

Enjoy!

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Sometimes, my son asks some brilliant questions. “The name of this wine is Blue Fish,” he asked as we strolled down the wine aisle at Bloom. “Does that mean it tastes like fish?”


What can I say? He’s a perceptive kid. He asked the very burning question that inspired me to try this particular wine. Does it, in fact, suck as bad as it’s name? Or does it, on the other hand, deliver a taste worthy of the strikingly attractive deep blue bottle with the Caribbean ocean hued label trimmed in shiny imitation gold leaf?

It is, in fact, a bottle that is hard to miss – both eye catching and attractive despite the use of the trendy blue bottles that everyone seems to be using these days in order to set themselves apart from all of the other wineries out there, about half of whom are using those same blue bottles.

But this bottle does catch my eye.

Pretty!

Then I notice the name. Blue Fish.

Yuk.

At that moment, my son poses his question, and I begin to wonder what inspired that name. I mean, I’m sure it tastes good with fish, but most wines aren’t named for the foods you eat them with, they’re named for trees and fruits and flowers and places and people and animals and inanimate objects. I might buy a wine named for a type of fish, but I don’t want a wine that makes me think of the flavor of fish, because a fish-flavored wine would be gross. And if that fish is blue, that’s even grosser (or is it more gross?).

Then I noticed that it has a convenient screw-top bottle. I wasn’t sure what to make of that. Convenience is a good thing, but wine is supposed to have a cork, isn’t it? Aren’t the only wines with screw tops the kind that the drinker usually consumes straight from the bottle without removing it from the paper bag?

But I bought it anyway. Did I mention the bottle is really pretty? It is. Pretty enough to make me want to try the wine and write about the experience.

And guess what, the wine is tasty. I don’t think it’s what the typical vinophile would call “good,” but it’s definitely unique. It talks about green apples and pears on the label (not fish, thankfully – in fact no explanation is given for the name at all), and green apples are exactly what I tasted. Tart green granny smith apples, peel and all. They tasted fresh and sour and, actually, pretty strong, and though it wasn’t the sort of thing I’m used to, I really enjoyed drinking it with my burgers and potato salad.

Which I think means that sometimes you can judge a book by its cover. This is a unique wine in a unique package with the right kind of top (much easier to drink a glass and save the rest) and a name that, on second thought, truly doesn’t “suck.” It’s unconventional, like the wine, and it not only got my attention, but prompted me to brace myself for something a little different from what I’m used to.

Thank God it didn’t taste like fish.

Bloom, $8.49

Williamsburg Winery -- Lord Botetourt Red 2005

Neither me or Joy have posted a review in awhile. It's not because we don't love the blog, it's just that we haven't had much time. Our respective works have been crazy, and now that my commute can take anywhere from 50 minutes until the end of time, my eagerness to write about the experience is overmatched by my eagerness to crash out on the couch any time I have a glass of wine. This will not last forever, but it is a reflection of my current reality. Our blog continues to grow, nonetheless, and once again I'd like to say that we will welcome guest reviews if you're funny and feel up to it.

Tonight I'm reviewing another selection from the Williamsburg Winery in Virginia. You may remember some time back I reviewed their Two Shilling Red after an infernally hot wine tasting in a suburban parking lot. This particular wine was given to us as a housewarming gift -- so I enter into this review hesitantly. Many of our friends have given us bottles of wine (which is awesome, thank you) and, while we love it, it's caused just a bit of discomfort since we absolutely don't want to in any way seem ungrateful for the gifts. Writing "the merlot, given to us by John and Louise Beauchamps of West Falls Church, Virginia, has the smoothness and vibrancy of snot" is not too likely to make us any friends. Especially if I go on to state how it will only appeal to "ignoramuses and those of questionable hygiene." Not that I would ever write anything like that, but why tempt fate with friendships on the line? If I did feel inclined to write that, I'd hate to think that somebody's feelings might be hurt. Or at least somebody I know.

Fortunately, I have nothing but good to say about the Lord Botetourt Red and the wonderful people who gave it to us. It's a full-bodied red with a spicy kick that cries out for a honkin' big block of cheese. It's also named after an early governor of Virginia and a member of the original Board of Visitors at William and Mary. A statue of Lord Botetourt, in fact, stands at the College of William and Mary, indicating an impeccable pedigree -- since those William and Mary kids know how to par-tay. What? That's right! Can I get a witness? Woo-woo!

I actually highly doubt the Lord Botetourt Red is available for under $10, but for me it was free. And I'm drinking it. And I'm posting about it.

Word up.

8 out of 10

My house, Free

Bohemian Highway Cabernet Sauvignon 2006; Bohemian Highway Merlot

Forget about lychee, or cherry, or plum. Today I'm looking for a wine with one distinct essence: dingledodie. I want to taste, smell, and be dingledodie. I want to live dingledodie. I want to wallow in dingledodieness. I'm looking for mad dingledodie wine that lights up the sky like a roman candle. Dingledodie. That's all, nothing else.

Not that I have the slightest idea what a dingledodie is, but that doesn't matter. By the time I'm done with this glass, I'll not only know what a dingledodie is but I'll be dancing down the street like one. Hold on, let me put on some Miles Davis. Let me think of Carlo Marx; Hassel on Riker's Island; Jane wandering in Times Square in her benzedrine haze. I don't know these people, but I'll think of them as I drink. But most of all, I'll think of Dean Moriarty.

Tonight I am drinking Bohemian Highway Cabernet Sauvignon 2006. I'm also drinking Bohemian Highway Merlot 2006. No, that isn't because I'm getting crocked off my ass, it's because I started the Cabernet several nights ago and didn't get a chance to post, so I needed to purchase another bottle to continue the review and all that was left was Merlot. So it's a double review tonight. Two for the price of one. Hell, let's do the whole Bohemian Highway collection, and maybe I will get crocked off my ass. How much more bohemian could I get? But no, no. I have work tomorrow. So I'll have a sample of both.

"The Bohemian Highway meanders through vineyards, redwood forests and palm groves. The wine embodies the casual, free-flowing spirit you'll find along the way." The wine embodies it. You know, with its essence of marijuana, loose women, and jazz. It must have been hard to get all of that into a bottle, but with a little imagination I can dig it, daddy-o. Let's take a little trip in our favorite rocket ship. Blow, man, blow!

First the cabernet: Spicy and heavy on the fruit. Maybe a little chocolatey.

Then the merlot: Not as good. Kind of astringent. Tannic.

The cabernet is great, but I'm not such a fan of the merlot. Which is a pity, since I bought the merlot in a 1.5 liter bottle. And I don't taste them damned dingledodies anywhere. What the Hell, isn't this supposed to be a bohemian experience? Wait a second, the wine is $6.99 for a bottle. I get it. It's cheap. Total dingledodiedom!

The Cabernet: 8 out of 10.
The Merlot: 5 out of 10.


Bloom: $6.99 each

Don't worry. Even I'm not sure what I'm talking about.

Kitchen Sink Artisan Blends California White Table Wine

The best thing about our blog? Since moving into the new house a month ago, Mike and I have received a lot of wine and wine glasses as housewarming gifts. We now officially own more wine glasses than regular drinking glasses. It's always a bit funny when people proudly hand over their gift of wine, proclaiming that they spent less than $10 on it, seemingly for our sake. They can't just hand over the bottle; they feel the need to tell us how little was spent on the gift. Hilarious. Mike and Joy are cheap and easy to please! Hell, we can even afford to get them two bottles! I love it and wouldn't have it any other way. I knew this blog would come in handy. We've never owned more wine or wine glasses. Best thing ever!

Tonight's selection is one such gift, from my brother-in-law and his wife, my favorite sister-in-law. Since Tom has posted guest reviews on our blog recently, I knew they would choose a wine suitable for review. Their choice was perfect; it's so cheap that the label on the back of the bottle describes a red wine made by the same manufacturer instead of describing the white wine in the bottle. Oops. So much for quality control. Luckily, the taste makes up for the packaging mistake. This wine would be the bottle that I would pick up at the store if I didn't want to bother putting any effort into my choice of wine. It's a very mild white table wine and does not have the sharp aftertaste that most (cheap) white wines have. It's pretty bland and that isn't necessarily a bad thing; this wine would complement any dinner, no matter the meal. In fact, pour yourself a glass as you cook, before you have the meal. It'll relax you pretty quickly. I've found that I prefer white wines that aren't too sweet and this one fits the bill. It isn't too fruity either.

Perfect as a housewarming gift!


8 out of 10.


Bloom, *less than $10, forgot to ask the exact price

Sutter Home White Zinfandel 2007 (GUEST REVIEW)

Our blog is turning my brother-in-law into a wino. Enjoy his latest guest review. Please remember that if you feel inclined to post on our blog as well, you can contact us at wineforthecheap@gmail.com. There's a lot of cheap wine out there to be sampled!

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Sutter Home White Zinfandel 2007

This blog is about bargains, but it is not really about being cheap. We recognize fully, in fact, that cheap is not necessarily a good thing, but that it is stupid to spend a lot of money for something just because it has a fancy name and comes in a shapely package decorated with fashionable colors and sporting curves in all the right places. Money truly doesn’t rule the world, and we all know that appearances can be deceiving. It’s what’s on the inside that counts.

Never was that lesson brought home more clearly than it was tonight. I walked in to my neighborhood Bloom intent on delivering on my threat to review the Sutter Home White Zinfandel in the 1.5 Liter bottle, currently selling for a mere $8.99 a bottle.

That, my friends, is a bargain! We are willing to drive out of our way to get huge quantities of peanut butter and mayonnaise at the local Wholesale Club, and yet when we get there we find that the wine is still sold in the same old 750 milliliter bottles.

How does that make sense? Bigger is better, right?

But wait, there’s more!! These gargantuan bottles had the added touch of bearing a small label around their necks advertising a “Build a Better Burger” contest – my chance to win $50,000 -- and that same label included $8.85 worth of coupons, meaning (assuming the coupons were useful), the wine – all 1.5 liters of it – was selling for a mere fourteen cents!

And the coupons were useful. At least, they appeared to be. One was for $2 off on beef. Any beef. Which made my dinner plans suddenly crystal clear. Another was for avocadoes, another for Italian sausage, and yet another for potato chips, the perfect compliment to a dinner where the main course is burgers and Italian sausages.

Of course, the other three coupons, worth $4.75, weren’t really all that useful to me, the beef “coupon” turned out to be a less-than-user-friendly “mail-in rebate,” and when you come right down to it, potato chips don’t really go with guacamole. In spite of all of that, though, I still saved $1.55 in coupons and got myself dinner for the next two nights, assuming my wife is willing to let me serve her nothing but fatty meat and potato chips.

All because of one gargantuan, blocky, overbearing bottle of very reasonably priced white zinfandel.

Which, once opened and consumed, made both my wife and I really wish we were drinking better wine. I was grateful, at first, that there was nothing objectionable here – no vinegar-like “pear tasters,” no plums. But, all things considered, I would almost rather have a wine give me something I dislike than give me nothing at all. Usually, even when we purchase a wine we dislike, we at least discuss the possibility of having a second glass. Tonight, my wife switched to water – WATER - after only half a glass. Me? I finished my glass, wondering all the while what it is that actually makes a wine enjoyable and why this particular wine should seem to have so little going for it.


3 out of 10


Bloom, $8.99

Funky Llama Malbec 2008

Tonight's selection is consumed in honor of my new neighborhood. Mike praised our new hometown in a recent post and I'd like to offer my own praise, more specifically to the great people who live on our street. I raise this third glass of mine to all those who have invited us over for backyard drinks and afternoon happy hours. To my supreme delight and Mike's hilarious despair, it hasn't just been one household on the block extending these delicious invites; it seems like the entire block partakes of the bubbly on a regular basis. Wine For The Cheap has found a perfect home!

Did I say third glass? Because I really meant fourth. This is one seriously fantastic malbec. A woman I work with in my pay-the-bills job recommended it to me a while back and I confess that it didn't really appeal to me at first. It's a brand that I see in a lot of grocery stores and I confess to have turned my nose up to its common-ness. Is that a word? (Mike will kill me for blogging when I'm this drunk. Good lord I can barely type!) Well, any sense of superiority went out the window at the grocery store today when I found myself searching for that aisle of free products and free wines. Needless to say, I didn't find that aisle and I didn't purchase a bottle. The Funky Llama had caught my eye at $6.99 but that was still too steep a price for me. I decided to use the $15 left in my checking account (yes, $15--I just purchased a house dammit) for actual food and nourishment. Surprised? Yeah, me too. Damn those maternal instincts. If it wasn't for my daughter, I would have just come home with a couple bottles of wine and considered that dinner. Luckily, there are two bank accounts in this relationship. I knew Mike would make a wine run when I came home empty-handed. Thanks Dear! This was the best malbec I've tasted in a long time!

If you haven't been a fan of malbecs but are willing to give it another shot, pick up this Funky Llama. I never considered myself a fan prior to this bottle. It's a sharp red wine but it doesn't leave that aftertaste that I have found most malbecs to have. Normally I prefer to have a beer (gasp!) when we grill, but this malbec was well-suited to the grilled chicken and vegetables we had for dinner tonight. This is probably the best summer wine I've tasted all season. Suits the atmosphere. I'll have to bring it to the next neighborhood Happy Hour!


9 out of 10.


Bloom, $6.99

Candoni Pinot Noir 2007

Are you nostalgic for the days of the Etruscans? Well, Candoni wine company "wants to recall the Etruscan joy of life by offering our Pinot Noir." Pinot Noir has never really made me think of Etruscans, and frankly I've always associated it with France what with how Pinot Noir is, you know, a French term, but what the Hell. If they want to evoke the ancient Etruscans, than we shall evoke the Etruscans. Can you say toga party? Excellent! Toga! Toga! Toga!

Of course, we are evoking the collegiate joy of life more than the Etruscan, but I can live with that. And really, it's not my collegiate joy of life so much as John Belushi's, but whatever. Just drink and, for God's sake, be sure to pull down your toga before you sit down. Thanks.

Who were the Etruscans anyway? Well, they were a pre-Roman civilization living in parts of what is now Italy who are best known for their art, some of which was really, really dirty. And that's fine. But when I look at the label on my bottle of Candoni wines Pinot Noir 2007, and I see this guy in a blue toga delicately caressing the neck of a horse, I can't help but think of this and wonder . . . what in the Hell am I drinking?

All of that aside, the Pinot Noir is quite good. It's spicy with a touch of anise and just a slight essence of latex on the nose. Yes, you read that correct. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but is somewhat evocative of blowing up a beach ball. I recommend serving it at your next toga party.

6 out of 10

Harris Teeter, $9.99