Voga Quattro

I am in style.

I am vogue.

I am IN.

I am about a new way to drink wine.

I am about hot models with perky nipples.

I am about lifestyle.

Are you?

And thus begins my latest odyssey. Voga. Believe it or not, all of the italics above are taken from the Voga website. All of them, that is, except for the bit about hot models with perky nipples. That was just sort of inferred. I didn't realize that wine could have such a remarkable effect on human areoli, but I'm not complaining.

If only I'd known about this revolutionary medical miracle when I was in college.

Joy and I picked up this particular bottle at Harris Teeter. While I am, indeed, vogue, we picked it up thinking it was shampoo. Little did we know we'd stumbled upon a revolution in, uh . . . storing fluids in . . . uh, bottles. Um . . . how exciting to be at the forefront of this bright new future, full of boxy shapes, pyramids, and . . . uh . . . perhaps hexagonal shiny bits . . . all leading us bravely into the world . . . of . . . tomorrow? The future is now, and it's one in which superficial aesthetics take precedence over functionality, and I am of it, because I am Voga!

Truly nothing, not even the introduction of the Stelvin, has had such a profound impact on human events.

The particular vintage we are drinking is not a vintage at all, but rather the Quattro, so-called because four blades will give you a cleaner, closer shave. Oh wait, sorry. It's called the Quattro because it's made up of four different varietals, a Merlot, a Pinot, a Shiraz, and a Cabernet. All of these are combined to make a pleasant, mild enough table wine, that would pair well with just about anything. I personally think it goes quite well with orange-flavored popsicle. It doesn't, however, lather very well, or do anything for split ends.

Are you inoffensive?

Are you mild?

Are you kind of bland but easy enough to drink while watching Golden Girls in your slippers and bathrobe?

Then you are VOGA!

6 out of 10

Harris Teeter, $9.99

Guest Reviews, Anyone?

If you have followed our blog faithfully (thank you!), you know that Mike and I have been house-hunting for a while now. We are happy to report that a couple of weeks ago we finally found our piece of the American Dream. That is why we have slowed down on the blog-posting this past month. We figured potential sellers might discriminate against the slightly-hungover set. Plus there was the whole matter of number-crunching: already difficult to do when sober, infinitely worse (though entertaining) when drunk.

As we gear up to settle on the house at the end of June, I can promise a lot of cheap wine will be consumed. Between the amount of paperwork I am currently drowning in, and the terrifying amount of money flying out of our bank accounts, I have started to crave dangerous amounts of alcohol. Obviously, the cheaper the better, and I expect to keep reviewing wines over the next few weeks. The blog also has a funny way of keeping me calm. Oh wait, that's the wine.

Once we start the process of moving and settling in, July and August may be a difficult time for us to post. In an attempt to keep the blog current during the summer, we'd like to invite you to write a guest review of any cheap wine that suits your fancy. You already know the only rule: the wine has to be less than US$10. I specify the US currency because I was quite startled to see on our Facebook page that our blog has attracted followers from around the world and should we receive any international submissions, I want to make sure that our globe-trotting friends are as cheap as we are, here in the States. I know how fancy and expensive wines can be when you cross the Atlantic, the Pacific, and/or whatever the ocean is to our south. If this interests you, please email us at wineforthecheap@gmail.com or message us through the aforementioned Facebook page.

So there you go. Mike and I have freaked our dream and bought a home. A very pretty home, that is. And yes, there is room on the porch for my soon-to-be-purchased Amish-constructed porch swing! Pray that Mike will know how to use the lawnmower we have yet to purchase.

Earth Wise California Merlot 2006

About a month ago, I picked up this bottle in honor of Earth Day. Our local Harris Teeter had a huge display of this brand, apparently manufactured specifically for the grocery chain. In addition to merlots, Earth Wise Vineyards makes all types of wine using 'Earth Friendly Sustainable Farming Practices.' YES! They proudly state on their label that they've used these practices for many years and that they believe this 'harmonious vineyard management enhances the grape quality and makes [us] better stewards of our Planet.' SOLD!

Living green is so a la mode right now that it was only a matter of time before the wine industry tapped into that popularity. What honors Mother Earth more than soil, vineyards, and grapes? Wine should be the green-conscious person's drink of choice! If you're inclined to follow my clearly biased logic, Earth Wise Vineyards is a nice place to start. This merlot is fruit-filled without being too fruity. You'll definitely pick up the taste of black cherries and raspberries but there was also a hint of chocolate, or at least something richer than fruit. The first few sips are actually a little overwhelming, but it goes down smoothly. I'm looking forward to trying out some of their other wines; please let me know if you've tasted their other reds or whites.

I'm happy that living green is receiving more and more attention these days and would like to round off my post with a few more green thoughts. I may not live the greenest life as I could, but I do try, and I definitely admire those who practice what they preach. (Does Cameron Diaz really follow that toilet rule? Wow.) I'm obsessed with my reusable store/grocery bags and try to live as electronically as possible (banking, bills, etc.), so as to cut down on paper usage. Saving the environment is a concept I believe in and I like to think that I help in my own little way. I think it's easy to forget that seemingly tiny actions help and while there are huge causes out there that need attention (the Amazon rainforest, global warming, etc.), starting within your home and community is just as worthy a cause to dedicate yourself to. For all of you New Yorkers out there, this post is your lucky day. There is a lovely non-profit that dedicates itself to and supports local environmental projects and they've chosen to start in your city. Ioby.org explores the idea that environmentalism and awareness starts In Our BackYards. Please check this site out and all the great work they involve themselves in; perhaps we can help spread them out beyond NYC. I'm quite proud to know one of the founders of this operation and she definitely deserves this shout-out. Enlighten us with your green ways, Erin!

Earth wise Merlot, 7 out of 10. Ioby.org and all those who live green, 10 out of 10.

Harris Teeter, $9.99