Cono Sur Sauvignon Blanc 2008

I love my alone time. My daughter's fast asleep, my husband isn't home from work yet, Alice Smith is singing her heart out through my iTunes, and I'm on my second glass of wine. Don't let anyone tell you that drinking alone is depressing. It's liberating. Give a girl access to the Internet and the experience is downright thrilling. Life doesn't get much better than this.

Oh wait, it does! We settle on the new house in 36 hours!

Therefore, tonight's selection will forever be known as the Before Wine. The last wine sampled and reviewed by me Before the Most Surreal Day of My Life. How did I manage to convince everyone involved that I was an Adult and ready for this Responsibility? Hold please, I need to pour myself a third glass. Don't get me wrong, I'm excited. Just a little awestruck that it's finally happening. Home ownership and Me. Who knew? As Mike is fond of reminding me, we once had this heated argument in which I proceeded to rail against white picket fences, single family homes, and middle-class suburbia. My how the mighty have fallen. If you could just see the house we picked out.

So that brings me back to this review. A memorable white wine, even without the significant place it holds in this blog and my life. Cono Sur is a Chilean winery that derives its name from its geographic position. The vineyards are located on South America's Southern Cone. Once again, we've stumbled upon another environmentally conscious company; Cono Sur employs sustainable agricultural methods to fertilize and cultivate the fruit. The most curious flavor mentioned on their label is gooseberry and I became a little concerned when I read that geese and sheep are used in their fertilization methods. Not to worry though, gooseberry isn't what you or I thought. It's actually a fruit-bearing plant. Whew. I tasted the lime flavor in this wine but did not smell the citrus aromas boasted on the label. In fact, the smell turned me off initially but perhaps I'm still not used to white wines. The taste is fairly sharp at first, but does not leave the aftertaste that I dislike so much in most white wines. Four glasses later and I'm pretty satisfied. Apparently I like gooseberries.

7.5 out of 10.

*This is where we normally list where we purchased the wine and how much it cost, but unfortunately Mike and I are having a senior moment. We think we picked it up at Shoppers Food Warehouse. Obviously it's less than $10. I'll find the receipt somewhere!

Three Alarm Cellars Red

I'm sometimes fascinated by the inspiration for certain wines. Three Alarm Cellars, for example. Why call a wine Three Alarm Cellars? Why the firefighting motif? "Three Alarm" is a moniker I'd typically expect to see attached to chili, not an alcoholic beverage, so I'm a little puzzled. Are firefighters typically wine drinkers?

I've searched the web now for at least five-minutes and I've cobbled together some semblance of an answer. Three Alarm Cellars is the creation of one Jennifer Wall, a former winemaker with Barefoot and later Gallo wines who happens to be married to a firefighter. About five years ago she began selling wines under the "Three Alarm" label and the rest, as they say, is history. Or rather would be history, if it were interesting enough to be remembered.

What is great about Three Alarm Cellars is that a percentage of the proceeds of each bottle sold goes to the Alisa Ann Ruch Burn Foundation, an organization that works to enhance the lives of burn survivors. While that may not be a theme that puts you in an overly celebratory mood as you're sharing wine with your friends, it's a great cause and is highly deserving of support.

If I might digress for a moment. I love the fact that so many of the low-budget wines we've reviewed give money to charity. Whether it's Trinity Oaks planting trees, or Amaicha building schools in South America, or Dog House giving guide dogs to the blind; I love it. Which makes me think, why the Hell would I buy any other wine? Seriously, why? Do I want my money to enrich a Rothschild, or the rest of humanity? Screw it. I want everybody out there to take this vow with me: To only buy wines that donate the proceeds to charity. Or, well, to only buy wines on those occasions when not buying wine for this blog that give the proceeds to charity. Or, well, with everything else being equal, to choose the wine that gives the proceeds to charity over the one that doesn't, provided there isn't a significant drop in taste or quality. Awesome!

We did it! We saved the world!

I love Three Alarm Cellars California Red. I love it because, after days of trying to map out its flavor profile, I've come to realize it tastes like bourbon. Jim Beam, to be exact, although with hints of chocolate and anise, which in no way makes Jim Beam seem less manly. It's also very fruity, in a macho sort of way. Like watching Chuck Norris smash cherries with his head. No, wait, not with his head. With his balls. Yeah! Like Chuck Norris totally destroying cherries with his balls while killing a man with his bare hands.

I recommend Three Alarm Cellars California Red most highly. It pairs well with bourbon. I don't, however, recommend smashing cherries with your balls. Or drinking bourbon with your wine.

Bourbon and wine

feel like you're dyin'

9 out of 10.

Harris Teeter, $7.49

Gnarly Head Old Vine Zin 2006 (GUEST REVIEW)

Thought I would treat you all to Tom's second guest review. He fits right in, don't you think? Enjoy!

Cheers,

Joy

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Gnarly Head Old Vine Zin 2006

I hate plums. They are just about the only food that I actively avoid and generally refuse to eat. Admittedly, this has always proven to be a good thing, because no one in the world ever seems inclined to seriously insist that anyone eat anything flavored with plums. Oh, sure, some people eat plums, but no one seems to really like plums all that much. At best, they are innocuous. To me, they are disgusting.

Meanwhile, there is a universe of different foods and beverages out there, and I have few qualms with any of them. I’m not overly fond of cucumbers or cherry tomatoes or black olives, but I will eat them in salads or any time they are included in a recipe. Generally, I dislike any dessert that includes coconut, but I still have been known to eat things that contain coconuts. I eat all sorts of things that most people find disgusting, and I’ll try anything once. I even like the food in the middle school cafeteria where I work. Everyone else complains about the overcooked, brown, crusty pizza and the imitation pork product boneless rib barbecue sandwich, but I genuinely like the stuff. In short, I am not difficult to please.

But I hate plums, and this wine tastes like plums. Concentrated plums, even. It says on the bottle that it “yields concentrated fruit flavors characteristic of great Old Vine Zinfandel” and that these flavors include “rich dark berry flavors,” several nationalities of oak, licorice, pepper, vanilla, and plum.

Actually, given that description, choosing this particular wine was obviously a bad idea. How is that list even mildly appealing? It sounds like a recipe for an ipecac or some sort of violent medieval purgative. Oak, licorice, peppers, and plums?

So, in hindsight, I guess it’s probably a good thing that all I can taste is the plums.

Except that I hate plums.

3 out of 10

BJs, $8.99

Matthew Fox Shiraz (GUEST REVIEW)

During our recent hiatus, in which we posted quite a bit less as we focused on home-buying, my brother Tom repeatedly complained that Wine for the Cheap was not being updated as regularly as he'd like. "Why don't you write a damned review then," I declared, hoping that would end the matter. It didn't. Here's his first review.

He's kind of new at this, so he didn't include a year, rating, or picture. Hyperlinks and photos were added by me.

Enjoy!

-- Mike

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In the tradition of famous siblings throughout history-- Jamie Lynn Spears, Ashley Simpson, Jim Belushi, Bill Ripken, Jeb Bush—- I have agreed to grab on to my brother’s coat tails and make my first foray into this wine reviewing business. It’s not an easy undertaking for me, really, since I’ve really always been more of a beer man, and also because I honestly don’t have any sense of taste.

Still, writing snarky reviews sounds like fun, so I thought I’d give it a shot, so I headed to bloom and bought a bottle of the Matthew Fox Shiraz, which seemed like a perfect choice on a number of levels. First of all, it was on sale for $4 and there was a huge and very appealing display right smack dab in the middle of the rear aisle next to the seafood counter – not only cheap, but convenient. Second of all, I have learned from Mike and Joy that the number 1 criteria for choosing cheap wines to review is the goofiness of the name, and what is goofier than a wine that apparently isn’t named for the B-list celebrity whose name is on the bottle. On top of that, I am married to a woman who is a huge Lost fan, as well as one of the four truly devoted followers of Party of Five, the Fox network’s rather feeble mid-90’s attempt to follow up on the success of 90210 and Melrose Place. So Matthew Fox, who plays Jack in Lost and played Charlie in Party of Five, has been a frequent guest in my home over these last ten years.

So Matthew Fox it is. And being honest, this isn’t a bad cheap wine, much better than some of the others we’ve tried. It’s fruity and mild and sort of bland in a delightfully grape-juicy kind of way. Much like Matthew Fox himself, this wine does the job it was hired to do with a serious and sincere look on its face, but doesn’t really achieve or aspire to anything really impressive. It’s a perfectly serviceable beverage to have with dinner (of course, so is grape juice), and if you drink enough of it, you will get drunk.

But, hey, this wine wasn’t named for Robert DeNiro, or even Paul Newman, from whom anyone would expect a great deal more. It’s not even really named for Matthew Fox, even though his name is on the bottle.

The lesson to take from this, I guess? You get what you pay for.


Matthew Fox Wines - $4 at Bloom

Follow Up to My Trinity Oaks Review!

Well DAMN that was fast!

As most of you know, I posted a review of a fan-recommended wine last night and happened to politely mention that there was a glaring spelling error on their website. I mentioned this to merely illustrate a long-standing pet peeve of mine, misspelled French words. Incorrectly spelled words bug me in general, but don't even get me started on French words, especially those that have crossed over into the English vernacular. The (terrible, gut-wrenching) pronunciation is bad enough. The horror! Perhaps that's a strange pet peeve to have, but I won't apologize for my francophile leanings, it's part of my charm.

In my review, I welcomed the chance for an employee of Trinity Oaks Winery to perhaps find my post online and fix the error. I did not seriously think that it would happen, but to my delight, someone commented on my post and stated that the spelling error had been fixed earlier today! Now how did that happen so quickly?! So 'fess up readers: which one of you works for Trinity Oaks? Is it the lovely fan who recommended this wine in the first place? Or is someone really paid to just search online for TO wine reviews and could that person have stumbled upon our blog today? Could the wine community really be that small?

Well, however it happened, let me just express how pleased I am to have been of service. This was a great wine to review and I'm glad that their online presence is no longer soiled with such errors. What do you think the chances are that Trinity Oaks will send me a free bottle as a thank you gift? Hint, hint.

Trinity Oaks Pinot Noir California 2007

I'm drinking like I don't have to go to work in the morning. That's how much I love this wine. Or does that just show how much I don't want to go to work?

Tonight's selection was recommended to us by a Facebook follower of this blog. She considers this Pinot Noir a staple in her house and I will probably follow suit. It's a relief to give this wine positive comments, much like the fan-recommended Fetzer received when Mike reviewed it in February. I would hate to discourage readers with less-than-positive reviews of the wines they recommend; thankfully this fan seems to have good taste. That or she just shares my taste in wine. Either way, keep those recommendations coming!

This wine is such a lovely find that I'm willing to overlook the spelling mistake I found on the Trinity Oaks website. Oh hell, I can't write this review without pointing it out: it's Noir, not Nior. Misspelled French words annoy me more than misspelled English words. C'est pas trop grave but seriously? That word refers to the type of wine! Hopefully someone at Trinity Oaks is paid to search for online reviews of their wines and will come across this post. And hopefully that someone will appreciate my Franglish. Once I got past the spelling error, I was interested to see that this pinot noir contains 15% cabernet sauvignon, for 'added complexity and structure.' The resulting blend is delicious. This is such a smooth and easy wine to drink. It lacks the sharp aftertaste that I've found with a lot of cheap pinot noirs. The label boasts 'strawberry and cherry characteristics' but unless it's referring to the color of the wine, I did not taste either of those fruits in this wine. It's not as sweet as those two fruits would suggest. I imagine this would pair well with a variety of different entrees, everything from steak to pasta. It's unassuming and would complement the meal well.

My favorite detail about this wine recommendation is that Trinity Oaks participates in a One Bottle, One Tree program. They plant one tree for every bottle that is sold. You know how much I love a green-friendly company!

9 out of 10. Fantastic.

Giant, $7.99

Dog House Cabernet Sauvignon 2006

Mike was kind enough to pick this bottle up for me to review tonight, probably inspired by my recent obsession with shih-tzus and the show DogTown (National Geographic Channel). However, my first thought when I saw the bottle centered around equating 'dog house' to 'man cave', Mike's imaginary room in our soon-to-be-occupied new home. Well, maybe not as imaginary as I'd like. He'll be the first to tell you that he's picked out the perfect corner in the basement for his old drum set. Cue the Rush, a la Paul Rudd and Jason Segel in I Love You, Man. Can't wait to explain that to the neighbors.

I'm pleasantly surprised with the taste and quality of this wine. I could finish this bottle in one sitting. Dog House Wines boasts wine from the much celebrated California North Coast and Central Coast regions. This Cabernet Sauvignon is very balanced without being bland. The label mentions blackberry and raspberry flavors and I suppose that explains the richness of flavor, but it isn't a fruity-tasting wine. It's strong without being too sharp and it goes down quite smoothly. As their website recommends, this wine would pair well with BBQ spare ribs and/or grilled steak, perfect for the summer. I can also tell you that it has enhanced the taste of the grapes and fortune cookies that I've been snacking on throughout this post.

If you like dogs as much as I do, you'll be pleased to know that Dog House Wines raises money for and donates regularly to a charitable organization called Guide Dogs for the Blind. Take a moment to check out both websites, even if you aren't inclined to purchase this wine. Both organizations are worth a click.

9 out of 10.

Harris Teeter, $8.99

Robert Mondavi Private Selection Pinot Noir 2007

It's hard to overstate the importance of Robert Mondavi to the world of California wine. It's also hard to overstate the importance of California to the world of cheap wine. So in some ways it's hard to overstate the importance of Robert Mondavi to this blog. Without Robert Mondavi the wine industry in California, if it existed, would be appreciably different than it is now. Wal-Mart might not sell Oak Leaf at all. And Oak Lake might be -- gasp -- French. So thank God that Robert Mondavi came along. Without his noble footprints in Napa Valley, hundreds of lesser wineries may never have opened their doors.

It's because the Mondavi name carries such weight that I've felt, for awhile, that I needed to review one of their wines. I finally gave in tonight and picked up the Private Selection 2007 Pinot Noir. In some ways this is a new frontier for me. Typically I pick up a bottle because the name is silly, or the bottle ugly, or it's the cheapest wine in the store. In picking up this particular wine, however, I'm doing so out of something resembling respect. I therefore feel unsure how to proceed. Should I just write a straight review, or should I try to think up some poopy jokes? Or should I just drink and forget about it?

Ah, much better. Option number three.

The Pinot Noir is fruity. Big, stinking berries gently dangle over large, ripe cherries. It's a little spicy with a bit of a kick on the finish. It's probably one of the classier under $10 wines we've sampled, but it's also not terribly memorable. I'd give it as a gift and I wouldn't refuse a glass. But given a choice, I'd probably drink a beer instead.

6 out of 10

Target, $9.99